PoopTeen: Making People Laugh Since 3000 BC Poop: Making people laugh since 3000 BC

May 29, 2013

Warning for Kim Jong Un

Filed under: Gang of Aces,Josef Stalin — Tags: , , , , , , — Atom @ 12:00 pm

kim-jong-un-horse

To all the doers of evil.  Be forewarned that PoopTeen and the Gang of Aces have not forgotten about you.  We have simply been busy rearranging the PoopCave.  We painted the walls and bought new drapes.  It feels much more open and airy.

 

I digress!!

 

We are on to you Kim Jong Un.

josef_stalin

Stalin can’t pull a fast one by thinking you can slip in to office and then go off to Disney Japan with some 2 dollar whore from the back woods.  You are not Kim Jong Nam!

We have no floral basket for you Kim Jong Un.

We only have a warning!!!

We know when you are sleeping.  We know when you are not.  But, most of all we know when you are pooping!!  And that is when you are most vulnerable.  Our trained dolphins will swim to your North Korean resort and blow you right out of your banana hammock!!

north_korean_swimming_pool

Your armor has chinks.  We know it.  You are doomed.

May 22, 2013

Mini-MonkeyTeen Exposes New Threat

Filed under: Gang of Aces,Josef Stalin,PoopTeen — Tags: , , , , — Atom @ 12:00 pm

mini-monkeyteen-poopteen

After sending Mini-MonkeyTeen back in to the Jungles of Doom PoopTeen and the other Aces have learned something very disturbing.

josef_stalin

 

It appears that our Evil Doer nemesis Josef Stalin has been working day and night to create a hoard of Mini-Frogs. These Froglet-Frogmen are top secret ninjas of the smallest order. With billions ready to unleash carnage upon the free and peace loving nations these Mini-Frogs could destroy all we have come to know.

mini_frogman

 

PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces are determined to keep Josef Stalin and his Evil Doers from causing harm. You are safe with PoopTeen.

April 24, 2013

Evil Doers In Space

Filed under: Gang of Aces,Josef Stalin,PoopTeen — Tags: , , , , , , , — Atom @ 12:00 pm

Mini Monkey-Teen and other Aces have informed PoopTeen HQ that Vladimir Putin has been doing some dodgy things with dogs.

Poopy_Putin

Mr. Putin always looking for a reason to take off his shirt has been frolicking with Laika’s progeny when he isn’t out wrestling tigers. Mini Monkey-Teen has discovered that Russia is building a new Cosmodrome not to put men in to space but instead to drop bombs made of puppies on all the freedom loving people of Earth.

pooteen_space_camp

Not to worry. PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces will protect you. Once again the children are safe and will sleep easy.

April 3, 2013

Update: North Korea

Filed under: Gang of Aces,Josef Stalin,PoopTeen — Tags: , , , , , , — Atom @ 12:00 pm

PoopTeen and the Gang of Aces have been deep inside North Korea for the last two years. It is only now that we can reveal what we and our spy network has uncovered.

 

The North Koreans have been working hard on two very important issues.

 

1) Design the most bright green uniforms that provide zero camouflage anywhere in the natural world.

2) Use basic small arms to repel regular attacks from Godzilla where he is known locally as Pulgasari.

 

PoopTeen is able to show you this now declassified photo as proof.

north-koreans-vs-godzilla

February 21, 2010

Mini-MonkeyTeen Tells All

Filed under: Gang of Aces,Josef Stalin,Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — Atom @ 11:41 am

mini-monkeyteen-poopteen

Mini-MonkeyTeen has returned and he has told PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces some disturbing news.  It appears that the Evil Doer Josef Stalin is up to his nogoodnik ways again.  This time Stalin has been trying to capitalize on PoopTeen’s good relations with Canada and its noble mascot the Beaver.

The Beaver is not only noble and has a soft pelt but is a fan of goodness over evil. Except when they are chopping trees of course.  All of this came to a head when it was discovered that The Beaver has since changed its name.

PoopTeen was so disturbed by the news.  That he picked up the Canadian-Bacon phone direct to the commissioner of the RCMP and organized a proper defense.  For The Beaver to die would be an international disaster.

A battle plan was formed and it was decided that the best thing to do would be to deputize a beaver like no other to attack Stalin and chew off his face in Chimply style.

josef_stalin

Stalin was so disturbed at the thought of being ravaged by a beaver that he ran off into the night tripping on stumps and almost drowning as he swam the dam that we expect he won’t be seen in quite some time.  The Noble Beaver said he did hear Stalin curse “I will get you next time PoopTeen!!”

April 9, 2009

PoopTeen’s Pep-Talk for the stars: Jennifer Anniston

Filed under: Advice,Dating,Gang of Aces,Jennifer Anniston,Josef Stalin,PoopTeen — Atom @ 7:54 pm


Dear Jen

It’s time someone stood up to say what has been on all our minds since we first saw you on ‘Friends’.
“It’s OK.  You’ll be fine.  You’re so much better than him.”
Here is some advice from The Gang of Aces.
1)  Yeah, you are getting older but you are still good looking.  Maybe even hot.  But way better looking than Brad(who is starting to look like Droopy the Dog).  So don’t waste your time with losers.  I don’t care if he says your body is a wonderland…More than likely these guys are Hollywood dorks caught up in themselves.
Which leads to…
2)  Date outside your circle.  Smell-A is filled with guys that shave their legs and prance around like ninnies.  Take a vacation talk with the cute bar tender.  They may surprise you.  They may even say “Wholly SHIT!!!  I’m dating Jennifer Anniston!!!” and treat you like a Goddess.
3)  Just do it.  Have fun.  Live a little.  It seems that whenever I’m standing in line at the grocery store you always have a glum look on your face.  A deep breath, a smile and stiff drink does wonders.
Finally.  Whatever you do.  DO NOT talk to Josef Stalin.  He may come across as a charmer but he is an Evil-Doer and will throw you away after he has had his way with you backstage at a Dave Matthews concert.
OK??
Now go get it Tiger…Or Tigress I should say.
If you need any further advice please contact PoopTeen.com 

December 7, 2008

Stalin is Attacking the Queen

Filed under: Corgi,Gang of Aces,HRH the Queen,Josef Stalin,PoopTeen — Atom @ 9:20 am

It has come in on Red Phone that Josef Stalin and his No-Goodnik evil doers have a serious problem with the Queen’s corgis. Working via intermediaries Stalin is systematically stealing several small dogs.

The queen was out minding her own business watching young buff boys pump iron at the local gym when it all started. That tingley feeling she gets not from boys but from someone touching her corgi’s pelt.

Immediately PoopTeen and the Gang of Aces were on an SR71 to get across the pond stat. Upon arrival we discovered that Joe Stalin had hypnotized English Bull Terriers to be his evil doers for the day. The dog to do his dirty work were no other than her daughter’s.


Knowing that the best thing to do is destroy the evil doing dog we had to call for backup. Getting on the PoopTeen hotline we were able to secure the services of the only one that could help. Sir William of Williamsberg.

Sir William was able to gouge out Stalin’s eyes and send him to the gulag of doom as well as wake the bull terriers from their hyper-hypnosis. This of course made HRH very happy.


The Queens is once again free to romp, play, toss, covet, caress, with her Corgis and their very soft pelts.

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