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October 10, 2018

Evil Doers are Everywhere

The world is never safe. These two look like simple homeless men.

No! They are nogoodniks for Kim Jong Un. Mini-Monkey Teen has provided PoopTeen HQ with solid information that something is in the works and we are facing serious peril.

Never fear! PoopTeen and the Gang of Aces are always on duty. We will keep the world safe from Josef Stalin and all evils.

August 10, 2016

Secret Message Intercept-One

PoopTeen Letter 1

This came to attention of PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces. As of now we are working around the clock to verify the origin of such cryptic plan.

This “Blueprint of Evil” is clearly plan for complete destruction the world.

Here is what we know…

1: “Hotel”-The plan clearly centers around hotel. But which one? This is critical information. Once an Gang of Aces can learn exactly, which hotel is referred will the Evil Doer’s tail. As one hotel at seems to most likely–The Ryugyong Hotel. We know that epicenter of Kim Jong Un’s nuclear turtle research lab. We are sure that Suk-Yu Suk the North Korean equivalent for Josef Mengele is “Blueprint of Evil” it meant for.

2: “Shower”-The plan calls for showers. As know Kim Jong Un has made his concubines perform, as called “The Eternal Rain for our Eternal Leader“. This must the shower is being referred to letter. Is Suk-Yu Suk the mastermind of Eternal Rain?

kim with the ladies

3: “Sleep there until 9am“-Clearly the most cryptic part of “Blueprint of Evil” Sleep where? The Ryugyong Hotel? Perhaps the Evil Doer understands by sleeping where they plan on unleashing their carnage they would better blend in.

More baffling is fact at author says “No argument”. Does this mean that person tasked with carrying out this gruesome task is being coerced? Evil Doers have been known to hypnotize many in bidding. You could say “they don’t Mess around.”

Wolf-Messing1

Could the “noise” discussed the noise made by band Girl Trouble and  Bon Von Wheelie? Gang of Aces agent Mini-MonkeyTeen has informed PoopTeen HQ that Evil Doers have tried to use bats in past and that now they are trying to communicate with bats via ultrasonic devices.

Finally, who is “Manuel O’Rosa”? Who could this Mexican/Irishman be? Based on latest intelligence PoopTeen HQ thinks that none other than Jang Sung-taek. There is credible evidence that in fact he is alive and working very closely with Josef Stalin at the behest of Kim Jong Un. It is very common for Evil Doers to fake deaths of upper echelon agents.

Jang_Sung-taek

As PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces work hard to investigate this credible threat-One thing certain. Josef Stlain and Kim Jong Un are clearly out take over the free world and destroy all the cute kittens have come to love.

PoopTeen is case and the world will be safe.

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November 5, 2014

What does New York City do with its Poop?

Here at PoopTeen HQ when the Gang of Aces are not out breaking up international crime syndicates or stopping Kim Jong Un’s next bout of skullduggery we are often asked serious questions.

 

A fine resident of Dubuque Iowa wrote us and here is what she said:

Dear PoopTeen

The other day while strolling along the bank of the lovely Mississippi River I got to thinking about what New York City does with all their poop and I figured who better to ask than you. PoopTeen what does New York City do with its poop?

Sincerely

Marge Masterson

Ms. Masterson you have come to the right place. The Gang of Aces have actually been standing guard over NYC’s finest water treatment plant for some time now. We were even the ones to get Gizmodo in to tell the story too.

nyc shit plant

You can read all about it here.

What Kim Jong Un Does

kim-jong-un-lube

This worker is afraid for his life.

 

 

The Gang of Aces have brought back some news from deep inside North Korea. According to our source the young Kim has been increasing lubrication production. However, that is not the key piece of intelligence. The North Koreans are making this industrial lubricant from prisoners at Kaechon Prison Camp.

May 7, 2014

He’s a real Don Juan

Kim with the ladies 2The Great Leader not only can build Sea Turtles to deliver nuclear devices but he has the ability to make women cry. Well, that is not all they do. The Great Leader has also been known to make the North Korean Bomb-Shells perform “The Eternal Rain for our Eternal Leader.”

kim with the ladies

 

The youngest of the Kim’s has been known to exclaim that the Eternal Rains will finally sweep the imperialists excessive desire for depravity off the face of the planet. Leaving the world a fresh place for Kim Il Sungism, Juche and bad hair cuts.

April 30, 2014

Kim is at it again.

The PoopTeen HQ has just gotten word that the Evil Doer Kim Jong Un is about to launch another round of weaponized turtles.

kim-jong-un-boatHere you can see the young leader on a boat overseeing the impending launch of the turtles. Behind him is Suk-Yu Suk the mastermind of this diabolical plan. The first launches occurred last year but were ineffective. Suk-Yu Suk and Josef Stalin have mastered the miniaturization of many things.

mini_frogmanThe pictured Nano-Bot frog was discovered when Mini-MonkeyTeen explored the secret jungle lair of Josef Stalin. North Korea has been using the technology very well in their new plan.

kemps-ridley-sea-turtle

You can see from the enlarged image of one of the individual mini-turtles that the North Koreans along with Suk-Yu Suk are in fact about to launch an attack.

turtle weaponNo need to fret. PoopTeen and the Gang of Aces are on the move. The world will continue to be a safe and happy place for children to play freely. Imagine the consequences if the Evil Doers plan succeeds. We will all have to ride the North Korean produced roller coasters of dread.

kim_on_coaster

 

 

February 12, 2014

This is an Evil Doer

michael-maxwell-palm-bay

This is a BumTeen that got the shit kicked out of himself while he was being an Evil Doer.

PoopTeen and The Gang of Aces were not on the scene for this.

November 20, 2013

Kim Jong Un’s Ex-Girlfriend

Filed under: North Korea — Tags: , , , , — Atom @ 12:00 pm

This is Hyon Song Wol and Kim Jong Un had her killed in August 2013

October 23, 2013

Josef Stalin Is At It Again-Update.

josef_stalin

PoopTeen was the first to report that Josef Stalin and his band of Evil Doers were using baby sea turtles to deliver nuclear weapons. Since both Stalin and the ghost of Kim Jong Il have refused to take the 400m Freestyle challenge. We will now launch our secret plan to save the world from Josef Stalin and Kim Jong Un.

turtles

October 2, 2013

Food of Gods

north_korean_ramen

This is North Korean Ramen. The Eternal Leader says it make you strong and able to fight imperialism.

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