{"id":120,"date":"2009-04-09T19:54:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-10T02:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poopteen.com\/?p=120"},"modified":"2009-04-09T19:54:00","modified_gmt":"2009-04-10T02:54:00","slug":"poopteens-pep-talk-for-the-stars-jennifer-anniston","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/?p=120","title":{"rendered":"PoopTeen’s Pep-Talk for the stars: Jennifer Anniston"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
Dear Jen<\/p>\n

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It’s time someone stood up to say what has been on all our minds since we first saw you on ‘Friends’.<\/div>\n
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“It’s OK. \u00a0You’ll be fine. \u00a0You’re so much better than him.”<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Here is some advice from The Gang of Aces.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
1) \u00a0Yeah, you are getting older but you are still good looking. \u00a0Maybe even hot. \u00a0But way better looking than Brad(who is starting to look like Droopy the Dog). \u00a0So don’t waste your time with losers. \u00a0I don’t care if he says your body is a wonderland…More than likely these guys are Hollywood dorks caught up in themselves.<\/div>\n
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Which leads to…<\/div>\n
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2) \u00a0Date outside your circle. \u00a0Smell-A is filled with guys that shave their legs and prance around like ninnies. \u00a0Take a vacation talk with the cute bar tender. \u00a0They may surprise you. \u00a0They may even say “Wholly SHIT!!! \u00a0I’m dating Jennifer Anniston!!!” and treat you like a Goddess.<\/div>\n
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3) \u00a0Just do it. \u00a0Have fun. \u00a0Live a little. \u00a0It seems that whenever I’m standing in line at the grocery store you always have a glum look on your face. \u00a0A deep breath, a smile and stiff drink does wonders.<\/div>\n
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Finally. \u00a0Whatever you do. \u00a0DO NOT talk to Josef Stalin. \u00a0He may come across as a charmer but he is an Evil-Doer and will throw you away after he has had his way with you backstage at a Dave Matthews concert.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
OK??<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Now go get it Tiger…Or Tigress I should say.<\/div>\n
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If you need any further advice please contact PoopTeen.com\u00a0<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Jen It’s time someone stood up to say what has been on all our minds since we first saw you on ‘Friends’. “It’s OK. \u00a0You’ll be fine. \u00a0You’re so much better than him.” Here is some advice from The Gang of Aces. 1) \u00a0Yeah, you are getting older but you are still good looking. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,8,6,9,5,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advice","category-dating","category-gang-of-aces","category-jennifer-anniston","category-josef-stalin","category-poopteen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=120"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/poopteen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}